+ a gratitude journal +

I believe in the power of little choices. I believe that the little choices we make matter the most.  The choice to spend time outside every day, to look for the silver lining when a wrench is thrown in your plan, to light a candle and sit at the table for dinner. I recently made the choice to keep a journal, and it's the best decision I've made in a very long time. 

On January the 20th I made my first entry in a 5-year journal that I call my Gratitude Journal. Earlier that day I was meandering around Barnes and Noble, found myself in the cookbook section, and turned around to see the journal section. I picked up a blue striped 5-year journal and purchased it then and there, even though it was a few bucks cheaper on Amazon. I believe in serendipity, that people and things come into our lives when we need them most. 

It started out as a gratitude journal, documenting a little thing I am thankful for at the end of a day. Recently, I've started to include Charlie's milestones and major events in the journal, as I was grateful for my girlfriends and wine more often than I will confess! Oh, and my husbands perfect vodka martinis. 

If you're looking for a daily boost, a reminder to keep an open and grateful heart, I highly recommend buying yourself one of these. They are on my personal list of all time favorite things! Here is the link to the one I love on Amazon. (gratitude journal)

GaryTalk #9: No Excuses

If you're new to the blog, or haven't been introduced to my "Gary Talks", each talk focuses on a principle that was drilled into my head during the eighteen years that I lived under my parents roof. Mind you, not a year more, as it was also drilled into my head that when I graduated high school I was getting the boot. I was allowed back over summers, with the expectation that I worked and saved money. No free lunch, maybe in the White House but not in my parents house.  

     GaryTalk #1: Work Hard Play Hard

     GaryTalk #2: Be Self-Sufficient

     GaryTalk #3: Live a Simple and Frugal Life

     GaryTalk #4: Be Your Own Person

     GaryTalk #5: Less Talking, More Doing

     GaryTalk #6: Embrace Change

     GaryTalk #7: The Gary McLean Pep Talk

     GaryTalk #8: Choose Your Crowd

I was thinking about my mom and dad on the treadmill this morning, I think because I am missing them and they are traveling. Well that got to to thinking about about a new Gary Talk. 

I went back to work a few weeks ago, and what I quickly realized after spending months at home with Charlie that #1 I was thrilled to be around adult conversation again, #2 I love my job and work with awesome people, and #3 that most folks make a lot of excuses. One particular patient gave me at least 5 reasons on why they had stopped taking their blood pressure medication - too expensive, plain forgetful, feel great without it, on and on. One by one, I could have broken down every excuse. Did you call your doctor and let them know you could not afford a name brand medication? Do you use a pill organizer? Do you understand why hypertension is called the "silent killer"?

Instead, I just laughed inside my own head. Was it funny? Not particularly. But, I realized in that moment, that each and every one of us is guilty of doing the same thing. Often, we blame work for keeping us too busy, too tired, or too stressed. We blame our circumstances, the lack of money or time. Sorry, just had "too much going on" and "feeling under the weather" are ones that I hear often, sometimes out of my own mouth. But if something is really important, we make time for it and do it instead of making up an excuse. 

When I was little, we got called on it. Why didn't you take out the trash? Why did you get a B on that test? Why did you miss your curfew? As adults, we have to call ourselves on it. No one wants to hear your excuse. Be honest.  If you make a mistake, didn't reach a goal, said you were going to do something and then didn't, just look in the mirror, own it, and do better next time.

Carry Your Own Weather

I'm going to share a story today from years ago.  I swear my dad got personal amusement and pleasure in torturing my brother and me, though always with a higher purpose. We resisted, but he was the boss. I use the word torture loosely, but it was just not the fun stuff most parents did with their kids. Not the going to the ballpark kind of stuff. I think most parents try too hard to make their kids lives easy, to focus on fun and being friends. 

My dad adopted a different approach. The wake up early, get your tush out here and help me cut down trees and carry lumber kind of stuff. Sometimes physical labor, sometimes mentally challenging tasks like understanding how to balance a checkbook, or sometimes instances like I am about to share. On a family vacation we were driving to the Outer Banks, and dad decided we would start the vacation by listening to the audiotape version of  Steven Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. The book is now a sort of family joke yet also a book that has come to mean a lot to each of us individually. My brother and I can exchange a look in about 2 seconds that screams "seriously". Yep, seriously. You are going to listen to this book, and then we are going to talk about it. 

I love this image - posted on this blog with a great lesson! 

After working a challenging weekend in the ICU and dealing with a few personal things, I was reminded of my favorite tip from Steven Covey: Carry Your Own Weather. I may just have a little umbrella tattooed on my body, as I think if there is one thing I need to be reminded of every day, it's that. We get to choose our reactions, our moods, and set our own internal barometer each and every day. Put on negative glasses, and you will find negativity all around. I'm wearing my virtual sunnies today - and damn it, it feels good. Not because everything is good, but because I'm looking for and choosing to see the good today. 

With all that aside, Habit #1 is Be Proactive. We all have the inner power to choose how we feel and how we react to the various circumstances and instances in our lives.  Here is a paragraph from Steven Covey: 

“Your life doesn’t just “happen.” Whether you know it or not, it is carefully designed by you. The choices, after all, are yours. You choose happiness. You choose sadness. You choose decisiveness. You choose ambivalence. You choose success. You choose failure. You choose courage. You choose fear. Just remember that every moment, every situation, provides a new choice. And in doing so, it gives you a perfect opportunity to do things differently to produce more positive results.”

weekend inspiration - thoughts on mentors

The day I sat down with my journal and wrote out my list of mentors and life coaches was one of the best things I've ever done. On those days I feel a little stuck in a rut, I have a list of mostly women who can guide me to be the woman that I strive to be. If you haven't made a similar list, grab a pencil, paper, and start writing. I promise it will be a powerful tool in your life.

I have kept my career mentors private, as they prefer anonymity. However, I think that having a career mentor is essential, someone you respect, admire, and strive to emulate. In tough situations...I often ask "what would Dr. --- do", and that guides me to do what is right. 

--a few folks on MY LIST--

1 - My mom

Simply stated, my mom is an eternal optimist who radiates positive energy. She loves people. She is selfless and showers her friends and family with homemade food, bouquets of flowers, and personal gifts like quilts and small paintings. My favorite Mumford quote is "where you invest your love, you invest your life" and she was the first to really teach me that valuable lesson. 

2 - My dad

If you follow my blog, you have seen my GaryTalks where I reflect on the many life's lessons that my dad has taught us over the years. If there is one phrase that my dad embodies, it's from the movie Shawshank - "Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying" - and he is out raising hell, doing what he loves, enjoying life, and not taking a single day for granted. 

3 - Ina Garten

I love Ina's simple French style and her passion for SLOW food and sharing homemade meals around a gorgeous table with flowers, candles, and simple serving dishes.  Ina  surrounds herself with beautiful people, beautiful things, and keeps it simple. 

4 - My favorite aerobics instructor 

This lady ROCKS - she has kids, an amazing body, an upbeat energetic personality, and always gets me to the gym on days I am close to opting out. She lifts heavy weight, doesn't look a year over 35 though I know she's in her 40's, and is clearly taking care of her body.

5 - J.K. Rowling

If you are not familiar with her story, take a minute and read it. I am a feminist in that I respect and admire intelligent, articulate, creative, ambitious women who manage to retain their femininity yet have real substance and grit.

6 - Gretchen Rubin

Reading The Happiness Project secured my belief that little changes lead to big results. Gretchen is always trying to turn the volume up on making her life happier, and she does this by making little changes in her daily routine. I love subscribing to her daily quotes by email. 

7 - Nina Garcia (author of the Little Black Book of Style)

My mom recently introduced me to this book, and Nina is my new style guru. I'm giving copies to all my favorite girls this year. Nina advises to invest in the bones - pieces that are classic, timeless, and fit YOUR figure perfectly.  She also emphasizes that less is more, and that you should be smitten with every single item in your closet.

8 - Oprah

Live your best life. Period. That is my ultimate goal. Do your very best, where you are, with what you have. Fail today, do better tomorrow. I just love that. Oprah also coined the AHA moment which I can completely relate to. She loves people and she loves to get to know people. She has inspired me to ask more questions and get to know peoples stories.

SO THAT'S MY LIST. Sorry if I bored you. Please share your mentors with me! 

on marriage...

Josh and I are very fortunate to have folks in our lives that give us advice and encouragement on the challenges and joys of marriage. My grandma Shirley was the one who taught my mom to always put your husband first, which my mom shared with me before my wedding day. My dad taught me to support each others dreams, and he has quietly encouraged my mom in taking up oil painting and made custom frames for her best pieces. 

Josh's uncle Mike has also helped us a great deal. He frequently gives Josh tips and sends him little stories. His emails are honest and funny, and he's gently warned Josh that I will be a "little hormonal" at times in pregnancy and that he should be loving and patient with me. He won me over with that one. He recently taught us that love is the willingness to do anything for a single smile. 

Mike and his wife Tammy have been married for decades and have two amazing boys. Tammy is battling cancer again the third time, and you can imagine their emotions as they prepare for treatment. The other night, Mike found a way to make her smile when she feeling down. This was so sweet I've been thinking about it all week, and had to share. 

Mike turned his man shed into a concert hall. He wired some big speakers in there, pulled a chair into the middle, got Tammy out in that chair and then blasted her favorite Queen album. Now, you hear lots of stories of love, but to me that is real love. Doing something crazy just to see your favorite person in the world smile. He said after hearing a few of her favorite songs, she was laughing and dancing. We needed to be reminded this week that marriage is about little acts of love, so thank you Uncle Mike. 

The little choices matter the most.

I had a revelation at the gym this morning. As Oprah would say, an aha moment. It's an idea that I've really thought was true for awhile, and when I follow the rule I find myself so much happier and living the life that I want to live.

Last week was my first week back at the gym. The month before that, I would come up with some excuse on my days off to miss my favorite aerobics class or my morning run. I know that I'm a brighter, happier, healthier person when I exercise, yet I still manage to come up with excuses when the alarm goes off early. Here's a preview: My only day to sleep in. A headache. The temptation of a lazy coffee sipping morning. It goes on and on. 

Today, I got up and made it to my class with enough time to run a few miles on the treadmill before hand. I left the gym brimming with energy and ready to tackle a few items on my project list. I'm now typing this blog with clean sheets on my bed, salmon marinating in teriyaki sauce for dinner, two clean boxers, and a priceless outlook. 

• Going to the gym = little choice.
• Eating a salad for lunch - little choice.
• Taking 10 minutes to read an article in your favorite magazine = little choice.
• Not complaining and being grateful for a day = little choice. 
• Sitting on a quilt in the yard with your dogs to just enjoy the sunshine = little choice.
• Sending a small birthday package to a friend = little choice.

The thing is, all of these little choices after a short period of time have a BIG impact. One choice, maybe not. Habits form and goals are met because we repeatedly do the little things without making excuses, which leads us to that beautiful place where we are living the life we want. 

GaryTalk # 8: Choose Your Crowd

Think for a few minutes about the different camps of people out there. I know there is a gray scale between the extremes but I'm looking for the sense of a person being closer to one or the other.

Optimist or Pessimist

Sedentary or Active

Positive or Negative

Bright or Dull

Adventurous or Cautious

My parents were in town last weekend, and our late night conversations were about risk taking, pushing your limits, and the hard work and joy that comes from home ownership and tackling a (forever expanding) project list. We were able to do a lot in two days, including building a heavy duty work bench and planting a vegetable garden. I am so lucky to have parents that don't mind a "visit" which entails hard work. 

On the drive downtown to hear a blues band, dad shared a new way he's started thinking about people. There are those that sit around and talk about other people, and those that give them something to talk about. 

One group is out there living, being adventurous, trying new things, looking stupid and silly, and at the end of the day having a hell of a lot more fun. Clearly, by now you know what group my dad falls in. It's up to me to behave (or misbehave) such that I am there as well. You know the moment you're about to do something ridiculous and you know you will be the talk of the neighborhood, and you shrug your shoulders and do it anyways? 

a quick trip to the dump required a ride in the back to hold down the brush

Life is too short to care what other people think, to gossip, to observe life happening. Get out there and jump in. Look stupid. Laugh at yourself. Be crazy. Give the other folks something to talk about. 

Friday Favorites - SPRING edition!

BODY PUMP! I got fit for my wedding with this class, and I'm back at it twice a week to get my arms ready for tank tops. There is nothing sexier than a woman with confidence and toned arms, and the way to toned arms is lifting weights. 

COLOR! I ordered a few new spring treats from J.Crew factory outlet, and went for bright colors to wear with simple white maternity tanks. I am completely smitten with the aqua, sea glass, and coral colors this year. 

DAINTY LITTLE NECKLACES! I've been wearing this Kate Spade "Mrs" necklace constantly since last year, and I love that it's small and feminine. It has become my new favorite bachelorette gift to pack on the honeymoon. 

OPI cajun shrimp and ESSIE marshmallow! I went for a mani/pedi as a special treat and these colors are perfect for Spring! 

                           

SAVANNAH! it's time for our yearly friends trip and we will be heading to our favorite destination.  I'm looking forward to walks on the beach, sitting on my favorite bench in Forsyth Park to people watch, The Crab Shack, Vinnie Van Gogo's pizza, and Jazz'd (best tapas bar ever). 

2 HOUNDS COLLARS! these arrived in the mail yesterday, and my girls are looking so sweet in their bright new collars. They have so many pretty collars to choose from, I had quite a difficulty time making a selection. 

VANILLA BERRY PROTEIN SMOOTHIES! combine a scoop of protein powder (I like muscle milk light in vanilla), frozen berries, vanilla almond milk, and 1 Tbsp agave nectar or honey in the blender. 

First Trimester Favorites

 
You may see a pattern in the things I've grown to love over the last 3 months - lots of comfy lounge wear, hot tea, and snacks. I've spent many an hour cuddled up on the couch with a good book and minus the pre-pregnancy vino, replaced by endless mugs of tea. I love Yogi tea as every label has an upbeat message, similar to the dove dark chocolates I am so fond of. 

With the move into the new house, I'm trying to declutter, minimize our possessions, and only bring new things into the house that we LOVE. All of these items make that list, and I've used my prior wine allowance to treat myself to a few special treats.

Minnetonka Cally slipper = happy feet! 

Luna bars and Luna protein bars these used to be lunch with a greek yogurt, now they are an afternoon snack between lunch and dinner!

Avicii on Pandora
Great gym music or stay awake music when I'm working night shift. Upbeat music leads to energy which is a prized commodity these days!

Yogi hot tea - my favorites are blueberry slim life green tea and Mother To Be tea

Benefit hoola bronzer and Smashbox primer
* these were in my everyday make up regimen...then I got lazy and dropped them to special occasion makeup. After the move, I started wearing them daily again and have been asked a few times if I've been on vacation - the primer gives an amazing glow and the bronzer makes your skin look healthy and a bit tan. LOVE them both.

Mountain Hardware monkey 200 fleece
I must thank our surgery resident for introducing me to this Mountain Hardware fleece. This fleece will have everyone wanting to give you hugs and rub your back! I've been wearing it non-stop since I got it.

Gap lounge pants
I bought these in gray and wished I would have found them years ago. Best comfy pants I own, I look forward to slipping into them every morning for coffee.


Salem Red Sox baseball games with my Bigs Dill Pickle Sunflower Seeds 
By husband loves going to our local Salem RedSox ball park. I love munching on these sunflower seeds, watching the enthusiatic kids scramble around the stadium, eating a good hot dog, and people watching. 

2 hounds collars for my boxers
Now that we are in a neighborhood that is pedestrian friendly, I wanted our girls to have new snazzy collars that stay on when we go for walks. These Martingale collars are just what I was looking for. An afternoon walk is the perfect energy boost.

Please share with me your pregnancy favorites!

saying hello to my 30's!

I think the craziest thing about turning thirty is the realization that time is flying by so fast, the days turn into years turn into decades and suddenly you are ten years older! 

For me, this has been a wake up call to live each day fully, love my family and friends, and travel, see, do, and live 100% in the moment. 

The silver lining of turning thirty is the feeling of being comfortable in your own skin, the knowledge of who you are, what you believe, and what you like. What an absolute JOY. 

I've come up with a list (I love lists!) of the things I want to highlight in this new chapter of my life.

Keep trying new things and keep learning.

Enjoy every possible moment with family and friends.

Get rid of clutter and live simply. 

Stay healthy and active. 

Wear lipstick every day.

Find joy in the little things.

Spend more time in the real world and less time in the iWorld.

In the blogosphere, I have found a few amazing women that have inspired me so very much, bringing me new recipes, photography tips, and insight into living a beautiful life.

Kelle Hampton - enjoying the small things

Not only is Kelle raising incredibly creative children, her photography is just stunning. She is teaching me to stop taking pictures of people smiling at the camera, and instead capture them doing something they love. 

Janet - the gardener's cottage

Janet is serious about living a simple yet beautiful life. She is the queen of no clutter, spending less, and living more. Her cottage is stunning and only houses things that she absolutely loves or uses regularly.

Ree - the pioneer woman

Living on an enormous cattle ranch, Ree is raising a beautiful family, cooking the kind of recipes dreams are made of, and not skimping on butter.  When I'm looking for a holiday or special occasion meal, she never disappoints.

Kalyn - kalyn's kitchen

My go to site for healthy low-glycemic index meals that taste amazing and are also high in nutrients and low in calories. 

be a fruit loop.

the power of home

I get to thinking about things when I'm in the car driving or out on the trails running. Today, I drove back from South Carolina listening to a band my mom recently introduced me to, The National, on pandora radio.  As the miles passed, I just escaped into the music feeling content and relaxed. 

If you have met my mom, you know that she one of the most wonderful women you will ever meet. My husband and friends adore her, my father adores her, we all adore her. Spending a little time around her is like an elixir, she is just that special. I'm going to try to relay the gentle little reminders she gives me when we spend time together, so that you may benefit and I may be reminded of her wisdom. 

When you spend time with her, she makes you feel like there is nothing more important than YOU. She does not pick up her cell phone (doesn't have one), does not interrupt you when you're talking, does not talk about herself that much. It's refreshing, and makes me want to be a better friend. 

slow down

Life is short, if you hurry through it you will miss all the good bits. 

have real conversations

In an emailing, texting, tweeting world, remember that nothing feels better than hearing the voice of a friend.

be grateful

Count your blessings, for many people have less than you do. 

make today wonderful with your attitude

If you would like to have a wonderful day, decide to have one. 

practice patience

Good things are worth waiting for. Don't settle and trust that things will work out. 

create a beautiful home

Your home is your sanctuary. Surround yourself with what makes you happy, and keep it tidy. 

choose joy

The harder this choice is, the more necessary it is. Find joy in everyday things. 

always look for the silver lining

I promise it's always there. Always. It's up to you to find it. 

invest energy and love in your relationships 

It's the little things you do for the people you love that matter. 

embrace quiet time

Alone time is time to reflect and energize, recharge. 

the little things

a favorite quote

 

I love this quote, and wanted to share it on the blog today. There are so many things I have learned since saying "I Do" and this is one of them. Love is an action.

insight from Gretchen

My mom and I love to quote Gretchen Rubin. We both read The Happiness Project a few years ago, and she is our happiness guru. When we have one of "those" days where negative thoughts take over, Gretchen comes to the rescue! Let me give you a few examples:

 - Outer order contributes to inner calm.

 - The days are long, but the years are short. 

 - Worrying does not change a thing.

 - Most decisions don't require extensive research. (I wish someone could have hammered 

     this into my brain before planning a wedding!)

 - Succeed by failing. 

 - What I do every day matters more than what I do once in a while. 

 - Just because something is fun for someone else doesn't mean it's fun for you- and vice  

     versa. 

This week, I have again been inspired by Gretchen when I logged on to her blog and saw this quote. I actually have a stretch of days off (HOORAY!) and I want to spend my time well, though not in a rushed or hurried fashion. The transition is difficult as most days at work I am on-the-go and sprint around the hospital, but at home this week I want to focus on reading a great book, playing with my macro lens, running, and cooking my husband some tasty meals. Hopefully this quote will help keep me in the right mindset! 

GaryTalk #7 - The Gary McLean Pep Talk

 

When I was out running this afternoon, the song "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones came on my Pandora station, and I immediately thought about my dad. He loves the Stones. After I heard that kick ass song, I starting thinking about how grateful I am to have such an inspiring and loving father. That is how my mind works when I run, somehow I have these beautiful clear thoughts.  

Growing up, I listened to lots of Rock and Roll. I wasn't that cool, I just didn't have a choice in the matter. I was getting my musical education. That's right, we kids had zero control over the radio station, the TV station, the dinner menu for the evening (except on our birthdays), or the ability to leave the table before finishing a tall glass of milk. House Rules and Dad Rules trumped. 

I realized that while lots of thoughts have been churning in my mind this month, I haven't written a GaryTalk in awhile, so this one, as always, is dedicated to my dad. 

Every now and then, we all need a little pep talk. I imagined on my run today, that if my dad was going to give me (or you) a serious pep talk, it would go something like this:

Live each day with passion and purpose.  Stop your bitching. Never complain or whine. Work hard, harder than everyone else. Don't bother about what others think, and don't try to impress them. Stay active and push yourself. Don't be lazy, physically or mentally. Resist mediocrity. Life is what you make of it. Own your life. Create your destiny. If you don't like something, change it. Rely on yourself, not others. Don't expect handouts. Save more than you spend. Give more than you take. Get busy living, or get busy dying. Live on the edge; great things happen outside your comfort zone. More than anything, be true to yourself. 

What I'm Reading Now

What I'm Reading Now

 On my kindle 

On audibles (starting my very first audiobook for commuting this week!)

a gentle reminder.

awake my soul

these lyrics leave me speechless every time I hear them - thank you mumford & sons